From China Youth Daily, translated by EastSouthWestNorth:
I had already gone to bed but I could not fall asleep due to my self-reflections. If I had posted this on Monday, it would have been impulsive. When I post this now, it is because of the pangs of my conscience!
I am someone without grand ideals. It was by accident that I became a graduate student at the Fudan University Department of Journalism, and it was also by accident that I joined this newspaper. I was not thinking about any journalistic ideals. Although I have been lauded by people as “mad dog” and “Tibetan mastiff,” I know what I am made of. I only want to earn some money to feed the family.
I am not a brave person. I have been this way since I was young. Although I have cursed out a thief once upon a time while he was attempt to commit a theft, I was doing that from inside a taxi and I told the driver to leave quickly afterwards. If I saw a criminal committing a violent crime, I would not act. As I write this essay, I am wondering how many people I am going to offend. Will I be able to work at the newspaper anymore? Will I be allowed to write news report? Will I ever get a good rating for my reports? Will I ever get a good rating for job performance? Will I ever be rated excellent again? Yes, I am a coward! [Full Text]
