Satire: Jokes About North Korea From Chinese Netizens

Chinese Twitter-like service Sina Weibo is full of interesting comments about recent events. The following jokes are translated by an anonymous translator (thank you!) , and they convey some Chinese views on the North Korea situation. The US attacks anyone it likes,
The UK attacks whomsoever the U.S. attacks,
If the Chinese are attacked, they curse the people attacking them,
The Japanese let the Americans fight whoever attacks them,
If the South Koreans are attacked, they have a joint exercise with the U.S.,
If the North Koreans are attacked by anyone, they just attack South Korea. 美国人是想打谁就打谁,
北韩(朝鲜)是谁打他他就打南韩 Here is another one: North Korea: Brother, I am going to attack those creepy South Koreans!
China: (auto-reply) Oh!
North Korea: Brother, come help me when the time comes!
China: (auto-reply) Oh!
North Korea: Here goes!
China: (auto-reply) Oh! … (real person) What?! here I am, I just went to the toilet, what did you just say? are you crazy?
North Korea (auto-reply) Hello, I am not at home now, please
call again later…. 朝 鲜:…哥,我想打小韩! 中国:【自动回复】恩! 朝鲜: 哥…到时你要帮我啊! 中国:【自动回复】恩!
哥…那我去了啊! 中国:【自动回复】恩! …
中国:我靠,刚才上厕所去了,你说什么来着,你疯了?朝鲜:【自动回复】您好,我现在有事不在,一会再和您联系。。。 ...
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