Banned Video: Dragon’s Take on the Two Sessions (Translated)

Dragon’s Laugh (龙颜大悦) is an online volunteer production group that puts together weekly mash-up videos to distribute online. In operation since June 2010, the group of over 300 volunteers has put together 39 videos. These videos have enjoyed wide popularity among netizens and have also been reported by official newspapers and TV stations all over the country, including; Beijing Evening News, Shanghai News Morning Post, and China Youth Daily. Their latest production provides the view from cyberspace of the recent NPC/CPPCC meetings, with the dialogue mostly coming from real comments posted online on Sina Microblog or other online forums. Put together, it provides a 15-minute overview of netizens’ views of the meetings. This video is currently banned from all video-sharing websites inside of China. The full video is below with English subtitles provided by CDT.

(Please make sure the small “cc” button on the lower bar is red in order to see the subtitles. If not, please click to switch it on)

Dragon’s Take on the Two Sessions–Shocking Proposals Spark Use of the “Shouting Font”

龙吟:观众朋友们晚上好,欢迎收看龙颜大悦,我是主持人龙吟。
Dragon: Hello and good evening, you’re watching Dragon’s Laugh  I am your host, Dragon.

小龟:大家好,我是主持人小龟,今天是2011年3月14日,宜开会。
Turtle: Hello everyone.  I am your host, Turtle.  Today is March 14, 2011, a fine day for conducting meetings.

龙吟:第十一届全国人大四次会议,全国政协十一届四次会议,俗称两会,日前在北京隆重召开。这是一次和谐的。。。
Dragon: The Fourth Plenary Session of the 11th People’s Congress and the Fourth Plenary Session of the 11th Chinese People’s Political Consultative Conference, commonly known as the “Two Sessions,” opened solemnly yesterday in Beijing.  This was a truly harmonious . . .

小龟:插播一条紧急新闻,北京时间2011年3月10日12点58分,我国云南盈江县境内发生里氏5.8级地震,该地震共造成二十余人死亡,二百余人受伤,目前救援工作已基本结束,灾后重建工作正在有条不紊地展开。
Turtle: Interrupting with breaking news: At 12:58 a.m. on March 10, 2011, Yingjiang County in our nation’s province of Yunnan experienced an earthquake that measured 5.8 on the Richter scale.  The earthquake caused more than twenty deaths, and more than 200 people were injured.  Currently the rescue operations are basically completed and the rebuilding efforts are going forward in an orderly manner.

龙吟:两会期间,来自全国各省、自治区、直辖市,以及特别行政区,各行各业的代表委员,齐聚一堂美化人生,编造和谐社会。。。
Dragon: During the “Two Sessions,” representatives from all provinces, autonomous regions, directly governed cities and special administrative regions, and who come from all walks of life, gathered together as a body to embellish upon the quality of people’s lives and to manufacture a harmonious society . . .

小 龟:再插播一条紧急新闻,北京时间3月11日13时46分,日本发生9.0级地震,震中位于日本本州岛仙台港以东130公里处,地震引发海啸,部分地区被 大水淹没,并引发大规模火灾及核电站泄露等事故,包括我国在内的多个国家相继发布海啸预警,目前,灾区的救援工作正在进行,伤亡人数还在增加。
Turtle: Interrupting with more breaking news: At 1:46 p.m. on March 11, Japan experienced a 9.0 magnitude earthquake.  The epicenter was located 130 kilometers off the coast of Japan’s main island, across from the city of Sendai.  The earthquake set off a tsunami, flooding part of the region.  It also caused large scale fires and accidents such as the leakage of radiation from a nuclear power plant.  A number of nations, including our own, sent out tsunami warnings.  Currently, rescue operations are underway while the number of dead and injured continues to increase.

龙吟:哎,小龟,这接二连三出这么大的事,我怎么不知道啊??
Dragon: (whispering) Geez, Turtle, these huge catastrophes one after another–how come I haven’t heard about any of this??

小龟:龙叔,你都不看报纸的吗?
Turtle: Well Dragon, it’s probably because you don’t read the paper.

龙吟:看了啊,喏,五毛早报,头条是《“两会”构建和谐社会,煎饼果子里必须有两个鸡蛋》。
Dragon: No, I read the paper.  Just this morning I read the headline in the 50 Cent Morning Post.  The headline was “Two Sessions working to help build a harmonious society: vendors must use two eggs in their millet pancakes.”

小龟:虽然灾害不断,但我们各大的报纸头条仍然是两会,各级电台电视台主要时段也依然在淡定地播放着两会,哎,真不知道什么才是最大的灾难。
Turtle: Even though there has been an unending series of disasters, the headlines in every major paper are all about the Two Sessions.  Every radio and television station have filled their prime-time with bland reports about the Two Sessions.  [sigh]  It’s hard to tell what disaster is worse, the earthquakes or the reporting.

龙吟:哎,算啦,抱怨也没用,说点有用的吧:在此,龙颜大悦栏目组全体工作人员祝愿在地震中受伤的灾民尽快康复,愿灾区人民早日重建家园。
Dragon: [Sigh] Just forget about it.  What’s the use of complaining?  Best to focus on what’s productive.  Anyway, the entire staff of the Dragon’s Laugh program wishes the earthquake survivors the best of luck; we hope that you get better soon and that you can rebuild your homes and communities quickly.

历史不可忘,但天灾面前,生命无国界,尊重生命,祈祷平安。
While we cannot forget that there’s a history between our two nations; nevertheless, in the face of natural disaster, humanity is not divided by borders.  Respect life.  Pray for peace.

小龟:好,接下来让我们看看今年的两会又给我们带来了什么样的惊喜吧。
Turtle: Okay, coming up let’s see what surprises this year’s Two Sessions has brought us.

龙吟:每年的两会期间,都会有大量的雷人语录,不断挑战我们的承受能力,今年的两会更是一场刷新下线的盛宴。
Dragon: Every year during the Two Sessions, there are always a great number of outrageous comments that are made.  These comments constantly challenge our ability to cope with their outrageousness.  This year’s Two Sessions was truly a groundbreaking and sumptuous feast of such outrageous comments.

招行行长马蔚华在政协会议讨论中表示,房价上涨根本是一个货币问题,因为老百姓手中钱太多了。此话一出,激起大批网民的愤慨,群众纷纷表示:
Ma Weihua, President and CEO of China Merchants Bank expressed his opinion at the People’s Political Consultative Conference that inflation in the housing market was simply a problem related to monetary policy.  That is because ordinary people have too much money in their hands.  This statement aroused the anger of many netizens.  Numbers of these netizens expressed their opinion, one after another, that:

小龟(咆哮版):
Turtle (shouting):

钱多你大爷啊!!!
Too much money my ass!!!

柴米油盐连上厕所都涨价就工资不涨啊!!!
The cost of fuel, grain, oil, salt, even the cost of public toilets has gone up–the only thing that hasn’t gone up are people’s wages!!!

老马你是银行行长啊,家里的钱可以给故宫当地毯呐!!!
Hey Mr. Ma, you’re the president of a bank–with the money you have to spare you could spread it down to be used as a carpet for the forbidden city!!!

你这样的也算老百姓啊!!!
So are you saying that you’re the typical “ordinary person?”!!!

房价高了你好放高利贷是吧???
Don’t the high housing prices just mean that you get to charge higher interest rates???

有没有有没有???
Isn’t that the case, isn’t it, isn’t it???

都是老百姓的血汗钱啊!!!
This money comes from ordinary people’s blood and sweat!!!

我表大爷的棺材本供你吃鲍鱼啊!!!
Do you think I’d pawn my great uncle’s coffin just so you’d be able to eat abalone!!!

我奶奶的嫁妆供你吃鱼翅啊!!!
Do you think I’d give you my grandma’s dowry just so you could eat shark fin soup!!!

你吃得下去吗???卡死你吧!!!
Do you think you can eat it???  I hope you choke and die!!!

龙吟:咳咳,悠着点儿小龟。
Dragon: Ahem.  Settle down a bit Turtle.

咱们来看下一条雷人语录,新读书无用论再度流行,全国政协委员王平语出惊人:我们不应该鼓励农村的孩子上大学,因为农村的孩子一旦读了大学,就回不到自己的家乡,并且如今城市的就业压力很大,蜗居在城市的农村孩子根本不可能得到幸福。
Let’s take a look at the next outrageous comment.  The latest comment about the uselessness of academic achievement has drawn wide attention.  CPPCC committee member Wang Ping made the astonishing statement that: We should not encourage children from rural areas to attend college.  That is because once children from rural areas attend college, they will be unable to return to their hometowns.  Furthermore, there are severe employment pressures in the cities.  There is no possible way that rural kids who are cramped into these cities can be happy.

小龟(咆哮版):
Turtle (shouting):

上不上大学关你屁事啊!!!
What the f*** does it have to do with you if I decide to go to college!!!

找不到工作关读书屁事啊!!!
What the f*** does attending college have to do with finding work!!!

你家祖宗八代都是城里人,
I’m sure your family is pure-bred city dweller at least eight generations back,

从猿人时代开始就是城里人是不是啊!!!
I bet your family has lived in cities from the time they evolved from monkeys, isn’t this the case!!!

农村人也要世袭一辈子就得窝在农村了是吧???
So are you saying that people in rural areas should stay cramped in their villages for generations???

国家领导人要不要回到封建社会去世袭啊!!!
So are the nation’s leaders saying that we should go back to feudalistic system where political power is inherited and people stay put!!!

因噎废食懂不懂啊!!!懂不懂懂不懂啊!!!
Don’t you understand the old saying, don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater!!!  Don’t you get it, Don’t you get it!!!

照你这逻辑,饱暖思淫欲怎么解释啊???
According to your logic, how do you explain the Chinese old saying that once your stomach is full, you will start to think about other desires (for example, sexual desire).

那大家都不要吃饭了是吧!!!
Are you saying that we should just stop eating ???

吃饱了就淫乱了是吧!!!
Are you saying that once we are not hungry anymore, everybody will become very lustful ???

你这算什么混蛋逻辑啊!!!
What kind of crappy ass logic is this!!!

龙吟:小龟,淡定,淡定!!注意形象啊!
Dragon: Turtle, settle down, settle down!!  Don’t forget about maintaining an appropriate image!

小龟:形象你妹啊!!!
Turtle: Appropriate image, my ass!!!

额,龙叔我错了,我不该冲你咆哮。
Eh. .  Sorry Dragon, my bad.  I shouldn’t interrupt and shout.

龙吟:咳,没事,别激动。
Dragon: ahem, don’t worry about.  Just take it easy.

再来看一条来自动物保护者的提案,两会期间,敬一丹提出制定《反虐待动物法案》,呼吁全国人大尽快立法取缔“活熊取胆”等虐待动物的极端残忍行为。
Let’s take a look at another proposal that was suggested by an animal protection advocate, Jing Yidan, who proposed during the Two Sessions to create a law on preventing cruelty to animals, in which she calls on the National People’s Congress to act swiftly to ban
“extracting bile from bears while they are alive” and other such acts of extreme animal abuse

长久以来,媒体、民间组织和公众一直反对“活熊取胆”,这次的提案更是让国内“活熊取胆”企业之一——归真堂遭遇了强大的反对潮。面对各方质疑,这家企业却在想方设法融资上市,企图让更多黑熊求生不得求死不能,并且霸气外露地扬言“反对我们就是反对国家”。
For a long time, media, NGOs, and the public have opposed “removing bile from live bears.” The proposed law has caused one company in the “live bear bile removal” industry,  Gui Zhen Tang, to encounter a great wave of opposition.  Despite being challenged, this company is still thinking of ways to secure financing and get listed on the stock market so that they can torture even more bears.  Furthermore, the company brazenly threatened that, “Those who oppose us are oppose the country.”

归真堂创办人邱淑花还表示:“我们的熊非常健康,又能繁殖,像在幼儿园一样舒服,比创始人还舒服,取胆汁对它没有任何伤害。”
Gui Zhen Tang’’s founder Qiu Shuhua also said, “Our bears are very healthy and can reproduce; their conditions are as comfortable as being in kindergarten, they live more comfortably even than the founder of the company, and extracting their bile causes them no harm whatsoever.”

(转入咆哮版)
(Switch to shouting mode)

我靠!!!
Fuck !!!

这么舒服你怎么不去啊???
If it’s so comfortable, why don’t you go live there then?

把你全家都接进笼子里取吧!!!
How about you take your whole family and put them into the cage!

你老公也去吧!!!你儿子也去吧!!!
Your husband should go!!! Your son should go too!!!

抽胆汁不打麻药吧!!!用铁笼子绑起来吧!!!
I bet you don’t give them anesthesia when retrieving the bile!!! Tie them to the iron bars of their cage huh!!!

吃喝拉撒不能自理很舒服是吧!!!
Inability to control eating and excretion is very comfortable eh!!

上市你妹啊!!!把你办公桌也搬进笼子里去吧!!!
Get listed on the stock market my ass!!! You should also move your office desk into one of those cages!!

你丫的在笼子里上市吧!!!舒服死你吧!!!
Hell, you should just get listed in the cage and enjoy all the comfort !!!

小龟:哎,龙叔,你怎么先咆哮起来了,你把我的台词都抢啦。
Turtle: Hey, Dragon, why did you start shouting so quickly, you stole all my lines.

龙吟:哦,不好意思啊,咳咳,实在没忍住。
Dragon: Oh, my apologies, ahem, I couldn’t help myself.

好,咱们来关注一下那些在两会期间表现突出的优秀代表们:
Ok, now let’s turn our attention to the exceptional NPC members who behaved outstandingly during the course of the Two Sessions.

82岁的申纪兰,从1954 年当选第一届全国人大代表,到2008年当选第十一届全国人大代表,连任近60年,是全国唯一一位从首届连任到第十一届的人大代表。
82 year old Shen Jilan, elected as a NPC representative in 1954 to the First Session of the NPC Congress, and served as a representative up until the 11th Session of the NPC in 2008; she has served continuously for nearly 60 years and is the only NPC representative to have participated in the First Congressional session all the way until the Eleventh Session.

有人询问她的连任秘诀,申纪兰自豪地说:“当代表就是要听党的话,我从来就没有投过反对票,咱们不能给国家添乱。”
When asked about the secret to being a consecutive attendant, she proudly replied, “Being a representative means listening to the Party.  I have never cast a dissenting vote because we shouldn’t make more trouble for the country.”

小龟,该你了。
Turtle, your turn.

小龟:哦,龙叔你不喊了是吧?嘿,我来。咳。
Turtle: Oh, Dragon, so you’re done shouting? I’ll go ahead then.

(转入咆哮版)
(Switches to shouting version)

不反对你大爷啊!!!
Never dissent my ass!!!

什么叫不给国家添乱啊!!!
What do you mean don’t make trouble for the country!!!

投个反对票会死啊!!!
Will you die if you cast a dissenting vote!!!

经济会瓦解啊通货会膨胀啊???
The economy will collapse huh,  there will be inflation eh???

什么你都支持啊!!!
You support everything!!!

反右你支持,给右派平反你还支持!!!
You’d support being Anti-Rightist, and when they give political rehabilitation for the Rightists you’d turn around and also support that!!!

大跃进你支持,联产承包你还支持!!!

The Great Leap Forward you supported, Household-Responsibility System you’d still support!!!

你知道什么叫立场吗???
Do you know what taking a stand means???

你当个屁的人民代表啊!!!
You’re a people’s representative my ass!!!

你代表个屁的人民啊!!!
You represent the people my ass!!!

国家就为了请你去举手啊???
The country invites your participation just so you can go and raise your hand eh???

你举得好看啊???
You look pretty raising your hand eh???

不如摆一溜举手的照片好不好啊???
How about we just arrange a row of pictures showing people with raised hands huh???

好歹也低碳环保啊!!!
That way at least, for better or worse, there will be lower carbon emissions and it’ll be more environmentally friendly!!!

龙吟:额停!好了,可以了。
Dragon:  Stop! Ok, that’s enough.

其实,在两会的代表和委员中,像申纪兰这样的人,并不在少数,这些委员和代表,有的时常缺席会议,有的从不准备提案,有的虽然有准备,却完全没有调查过民意,全是自己坐在马桶上异想天开出来的,要多蛋疼有多蛋疼,实在是让人啼笑皆非。
Actually, among the representatives and committee members of the Two Sessions, people like Shen Jilan are not rare. Of these committee members and representatives, some are often absent from the meetings; some never review the legislative proposals; others review the proposals but never inquire about popular opinion and just sit around on the toilet waiting for inspiration to come to them; deciding on their own how much to make people’s balls ache from their proposals.  It’s really enough to make you feel like you want to laugh and cry.

网友们把这群人称之为“酱油委员”、“酱油代表”,他们呐,纯粹是去会场里打酱油蹭盒饭的。
Netizens call this group of people “soy sauce members”, “soy sauce representatives”, because they are purely participating just to “get soy sauce” and get a free meal.

小龟:委员和代表的职责,简单来说就是反映百姓的意见和建议,参与国家大政方针的讨论,真是不知道选这些酱油代表出来,能有什么用?
Turtle: The job of these committee members and representatives, to put it simply, is to reflect the sentiments and perspectives of the people, to participate in discussing the country’s policies, and I really don’t know what’s the use in selecting these kinds of “soy sauce representatives.”

很多代表早就过上了宝马雕车、锦衣玉食的生活,离我们普通百姓越来越远,他们真的能代表我们吗?他们排队买过春运的车票吗?他们挤过脚不沾地的公交吗?他们的房子被强拆过吗?他们的家人被城管揍过吗?他们凭什么就能代表我们呢?
Many representatives have for long started to enjoy the high life buying up BMWs, expensive clothing and fancy food, and this kind of lifestyle is so far removed from the lives of the common people, it makes us question if they can truly represent us? Do they wait in line for days and nights to buy a train ticket to return home for the Spring Festival? Have they ever taken a bus which is so crowded that your feet cannot even touch the ground? Have they ever had their homes forcibly demolished? Their family members beaten by the city administration cops? On what basis can they represent us?

龙吟:说的没错,代表和委员们的参选程序,的确是有很大的问题,精英们永远无法理解草根们真实的想法。
Dragon: You’re exactly right, the process for electing representatives and committee members, it really is problematic, since the elite will never understand the true thoughts of the people at the grassroots level.

哎,小龟,你这回怎么没咆哮啊?
Ai, Turtle, how come you didn’t shout this time huh?

小龟:喊累了啊,咱们在这忿忿不平,代表们却在会场里睡觉,喊也白喊。
Turtle: I’m tired of shouting, we’re here indignant and fuming, but the representatives are sleeping soundly at their meeting, even if I continue to yell it’ll be pointless.

龙吟:你还别说,相对于这些纯属凑数的酱油代表们,网络上的一些草根提案更耐人寻味,网友“二狗”提议:个人所得税标准应该这样确定,月收入超过当地一平米房价平均数的,才需要缴纳个人所得税。
Dragon: Hold on a second. Related to those soy sauce representatives who are there purely to fill seats are these even more thought-provoking grassroots resolutions online. Netizen “Ergou” proposes that the standard for personal income tax should be decided like this: personal income tax is levied on only those with monthly incomes that exceed the average local price of a square meter of real estate.

这条微博得到了网友们的疯狂响应,短短八天时间,转发数就达到了17000多条,这虽然是一句玩笑,却也反应了普通老百姓们内心真实的想法,工资太低,物价太高,辛辛苦苦赚点钱,还要应对各项税收,而房价却持续上升,老百姓们真的是买不起啊。
This micro blog received a wild response from netizens. Within a short eight-day period, it was reposted more than 17,000 times. Although it was joke, it reflected the real inner thoughts of the common people. Salaries are too low, the cost of living too high. They toil for a few bucks and yet are still subjected to an array of taxes. And real estate prices continue to climb. The common people really can’t afford homes.

小龟:川子有一首歌叫《幸福里》,歌中写到:“幸福他在哪里,四万多一平米,我每天赚钱很努力,花钱也很小心,可是要住进这幸福里,需要三个多世纪,我买不起。”
Turtle: The musician Chuanzi has a song called “In Happiness.” He sings: “Where is happiness at 40,000 yuan a square meter. I work hard every day and spend my money carefully. But to move into this kind of happiness will take more than three centuries. I just can’t afford it.”

龙吟:回首2010,中国物价飞速发展,中国人民持续没钱,伟大的GDP持续高涨,假装幸福的老百姓笑得像花一样。
Dragon: Looking back at 2010, the cost of living increased rapidly but the Chinese people are still broke. Magnificent GDP figures continue to soar. With a forged sense of happiness, the common people smile like flowers.

就在今天,两会在一片祥和欢快的气氛里圆满闭幕了。其实啊,短短几天的时间,远远不足以解决所有的问题,房价依然可观,钞票依然难赚,税依然要交,公仆们的政绩,依然很低。
Today, in an auspicious and cheerful atmosphere, the Two Sessions concluded successfully. Actually, a short period of a few days is far from being enough to solve all the problems. Housing prices are still a spectacle. Money is still hard to make. Taxes still must be paid. The public servants’ accomplishments are still quite few.

小龟(咆哮版):
Turtle  (shouting:)

交税应该用支付宝啊!!!
Taxes should be paid by ZhifuBao (Chinese PayPal) !!!

政绩出来了再确认支付啊!!!
Payment will be confirmed only after political achievements are made!

好评差评全看心情啊!!!
Good ratings, poor ratings – we’ll base this on our mood!

不给老百姓办事就TMD申请退款!!!
If they don’t serve the common people then we’ll ask for a goddamned refund!

官员应该跟在屁股后面说:“亲,给好评啊亲,亲,选我吧,包为人民服务的亲!!!
Officials should follow behind our asses, saying: “Give me a good rating, Darling. Pick me, Darling, and guarantee good service to the people!

亲,政绩做出来了!!!请查收啊亲!!!”
My work is done, Darling! Please accept it!

龙吟:嗯,好主意!
Dragon: Ah, what a great idea!

小龟(咆哮版):
Turtle (shouting):

好什么好?现在的问题是:
What’s so great about it? The problem now is:

店家根本不在乎你给不给好评!!!
Shop owners couldn’t care less if you give them a good rating!

先刷了N个皇冠信用,忽悠你花大钱买了!!!
First you swipe a fucking platinum credit card and then you’re hoodwinked into spending a fortune!

你才发现支付宝是他开的!!!
Only to discover that it was the shop owner who opened the online account!

直接TMD转账了!!!
A direct goddamn transfer!

然后你跟淘宝投诉,又发现TMD淘宝也是他家开的!!!
Then you complain to Taobao (Chinese eBay) only to discover that he’s part of goddamned Taobao!

全TMD默认好评啊!!!
Goddamn these default positive ratings!

还TMD都是五颗星啊!!!
They all have a goddamned five star rating!

龙吟:小龟,累了吗?
Dragon: Are you tired Turtle?

小龟:累啊。。。
Turtle: Oh, I am …

龙吟:走吧,回家吃面吧。
Dragon: Let’s go home and have some noodles.

小龟:嗯,好吧。
Turtle: Alright.

龙吟:好,今天的节目就到这里,感谢朋友们的收看,我们下期再见。
Dragon: OK, that’s all for today’s program. Thanks for watching friends. See you next week.

片尾曲:《两会歌》改编自《走进新时代》
Ending theme: “The Two Sessions Song” adapted to “Enter a New Era”

总想对你表白,我对房价是多么无奈。
I have longed to tell you, how helpless the housing prices have made me.

总想对你倾诉,我的工资是不够买菜。
I have longed to confide in you, that my wage won’t buy me food.

有钱有权的中国人,意气风发来把两会开。
The powerful and rich Chinese, with high spirits open the “Two Sessions.”

啊`啊  他们有权有钱,来把那两会开。
Ah ah, with power and money they open the “Two Session.”

他们开着茶话会,天雷提案滚滚来。
They have a tea party and astounding resolutions roll past.

他们讲着房价的问题,嫁人娶妻要隔代。
They discuss the housing price problem, and this generation won’t find a spouse.

没有下限的代表们,不管我们生活多无奈,
Those representatives with no fundamental standards, no one cares how helplessly we live.

高唱赞歌编造未来。
Sing their praises and fabricate the future.

让我告诉世界,中国危险谨慎投胎。
Let me tell the world, the dangers of being reincarnated in China.

让我告诉未来,中国食品把基因改。
Let me tell the future, Chinese food products have altered our genes.

有权有钱的中国人,欢歌笑语来到大舞台。
The powerful and rich Chinese take the stage in joyful song and laughter.

啊`啊  他们欢歌笑语,来到这大舞台。
Ah ah, they take to this stage in joyful song and laughter.

他们开着茶话会,责任担当都不在。
They have a tea party with no carrying of responsibility.

他们讲着民生的问题,不痛不痒没伤害。
They discuss the problems of our livelihood, without pain, itch or injury.

没有下限的代表们,不管我们生活多无奈,
Those representatives with no fundamental standards, no one cares how helplessly we live.

高唱赞歌编造未来。
Sing their praises and fabricate the future.

他们开着茶话会,天雷提案滚滚来。
They have a tea party and astounding resolutions roll past.

他们讲着房价的问题,嫁人娶妻要隔代。
They discuss the housing price problem, This generation won’t find a spouse.

没有下限的代表们,不管我们生活多悲哀,
Those representatives with no fundamental standards, no one cares how helplessly we live.

高唱赞歌编造未来,
Sing their praises and fabricate the future.

编造未来。
Fabricate the future.

Beneath the video is a description of some of the background and inside jokes.

Shouting font: Much of the comic effect of the cartoon comes from the juxtaposition of bland, cliched reporting on theTwo Seesions with the angry rants about current events. The angry rants are read as they were written by netizens–in a font that has been dubbed “shouting font” (咆哮体). For examples of shouting font, see here and here.

Shocking proposals: “Shocking proposals” (天雷提案) refer to certain proposals and statements made during the Two Sessions. Netizen’s reactions to some of these “shocking proposals” are read out during the cartoon in shouting font.

The images at the beginning of the movie: The video begins with three watches; one that contains three timepieces, one that is blank and one that displays the time, 3:15. In Chinese, the phrase, “wear three watches” (带三个表) sounds the same as “Three Represents” (三个代表) Jiang Zemin’s signature ideological creation that many find to be incomprehensible. The time 3:15 refers to March 15, the day the Two Sessions ended.

The crab in the opening scene is also significant. In Chinese, the word “river crab” sounds nearly the same as the word “harmonious.” Since “creating a harmonious society” has become a pretext for censorship, the word “river crab” is also a coded reference to censorship.

References to “harmonious”: In recent Chinese political propaganda, perhaps the most often used word is “harmonious.” The Olympics were “harmonious,” government meetings are “harmonious” schools are “harmonious” etc, etc. The dark side of “creating a harmonious society” is that the government aggressively targets elements that are considered to not be harmonious. For a Chinese netizen, to be “harmonized” is to be censored.

The 50 Cent Morning Post: Netizens first coined the term “Fifty Cent Party” to refer to undercover internet commentators who were paid by the government to sway public opinion (“fifty cents” is a reference to the alleged pay received per post).

Bear bile: In China, Japan and Korea, bears’ bile is used in traditional medicine. The bears were housed in small cages, and the green, bitter fluid was sucked from their gall bladders using crude catheters, sometimes creating pus-filled abscesses or internal bile leakage. Many bears die slowly from infections or liver ailments, including cancer.

Household-Responsibility System: The household responsibility system was a move away from a strict quota system and a move closer towards a free market system.

Housing prices: The high cost of housing is hugely problematic in China. Many homeowners feel that they are “mortgage slaves.” Recently Hu Jintao drew criticism after he appeared on television with a woman who claimed that she only paid about USD$11 a month in rent. Netizens claimed the interview was rigged.

Cramped conditions in cities: Those forced to live in small apartments are members of the snail dwelling tribe.

Reference to “balls ache”: The term “balls ache” (蛋疼) is a recent slang term. It means (1) to do something unreasonable out of boredom, (2) the state of boredom, (3) an unreasonable act.

Reference to soy sauce and soy sauce representatives: The term “soy sauce representatives” is derived from the phrase “get soy source”: One who is “getting soy sauce” is just listening as a spectator, without making substantive comments or contributions.

Forcible housing demolitions: A major source of social unrest in China today results from forced demolitions. These demolitions are often violent and have led netizens to joke that the word “China” should be spelled “Chaina” which sounds like “demolish it” in Chinese.

This generation won’t find a spouse: This refers to one representative, Liang Pei’s comment on how to resolve the problem of high price housing — girls in their 20s can marry men in their 40s.