Netizen Voices: Weibo’s Best, Picked by Badiucao

CDT contributing artist Badiucao also blogs under the penname Pedro, gathering political cartoons, Weibo comments, and other content on his award-winning site, qiwen.lu (奇闻录, roughly “News of the Weird”). Badiucao recently spoke with CDT about his art and political activism.

CDT has translated some of the weibo Badiucao collected over the past weekend.

He begins with a few comments on air pollution:

@网易网友: The new U.S. Ambassador to China, Max Baucus, asked for suggestions for his Chinese name. Everyone unanimously replied, “Meikesi? Baokesi.” [“He hasn’t died of coughing? It’s guaranteed he’ll die of coughing.”]

美国新任驻华大使Max Baucus,征求中文译名。大家异口同声:没咳死? 包咳死。

@弹弓子E: These is not one less car on the roads, but the sun has been shining in Beijing for many days in a row now. I’ve heard our leaders were determined to take care of the air pollution for the following reasons: 1) After Chang’e-3 landed on the moon, they realized it was impossible to take pictures of the motherland back on Earth. 2) Some foreign leaders came to visit China, but had to cancel the trip because they couldn’t find Beijing in the smog. 3) During the last few meetings of the [Politburo] Standing Committee, everyone was coughing incessantly, making normal discussion virtually impossible.

虽然路上汽车一辆也没有减少,但北京已连续好几天阳光明媚了。据说是如下原因促使领导们痛下决心整治雾霾问题的:①嫦娥三号登上月球后,发现无法拍到地球上祖国的照片。②几个国家领导人来中国访问,因为雾霾太大找不到北京最终放弃了。③前阵几次常委会,大家都在不停地咳嗽,几乎无法进行正常讨论。

@Zhangga3: The fall of Zhou Yongkang can be explained as an anti-mob operation conducted by the mob.

打掉周永康可以理解为黑社会内部的一次反黑行动。

@duqin64: I live in a country that harbors deep hostility towards me, not because I’m disloyal or hold a grudge, but because a gang wants to hold onto power forever and doesn’t tolerate people like me who tell the truth, like the “boy who points out that the emperor is naked.” I speak the truth.

我生活在一个对我深怀敌意的国度里,并非我对这个国家不忠或有仇,而是一帮希望永远霸占这个国家的人容不得我像那个“指出皇帝其实光着屁股的男孩”一样,道出真相。

@老子叹曰: A cab driver said, “The Korean War taught the Chinese people a lesson, and that lesson is—Damn! American imperialism is no paper tiger. If you don’t believe me, just ask Comrade Mao Anying.”

一个出租车司机说:抗美援朝给中国人民上了一课就是:尼玛!美帝国主义不是纸老虎。不信,毛岸英同志可以佐证。

@CCAV新闻联播: “Supporting You Guys Is Wearing Me Out!” – A post from an Internet friend [in rhyme]: I rent your home, I rent your land; I pay the rent and taxes, too; I tip officials high and low; you think for me, you speak for me! If I form my own opinion, you break my legs; I support your daddies, I support your kids; I even pay your lovers’ salaries; I put up with you acting like gods, and deal with the demons you make; supporting you is wearing me out!

【供养你们,老子很累!】网友发帖说:租你们的房,租你们的地,交了租金又交税,还得给大官小吏好处费,你们代表我的心,你们代表我的嘴!稍有意见你们就要打断我的腿!要养你们爹,要养你们儿,还要给你们情人付薪水,要忍你们装的神,要受你们弄的鬼,供养你们,老子很累!

Read more Weibo quips on CDT Chinese.

Translation by Little Bluegill.