Do you have children?

你有孩子吗? (nǐ yǒu háizi mā): “Do you have children?”

This was a statement made by Qin Gang, spokesperson for the Foreign Ministry from 2005 to the present. Qin Gang is the public face of China, and his name is also a close homophone for “bird anus,” a nickname bestowed upon him by netizens because of his propensity to “fart,” which is slang in Chinese for talking nonsense.

On 9 June 2009, a BBC reporter asked Qin Gang about the justification for the compulsory installation of the Green Dam Youth Escort filtering software. Qin Gang replied:

“Do you have children? If you have children or if you plan to have children, you will be able to understand why Green Dam Youth Escort is essential for protecting the children of China against harmful information on the Internet. Let me repeat this: the Internet in China is fully open and the Chinese Government plays an active role in promoting the healthy development of the Internet.”

Qin Gang addresses journalists at a press conference in 2009 (Xinhua)

Qin Gang has made many other similarly nonsensical statements (original Chinese), which often exemplify the absurdity of the Party line. For example, in response to a journalist's question about YouTube being blocked in China, he famously said, “As for what you can and cannot watch, watch what you can watch, and don’t watch what you cannot watch.”