原作者:
来源Hu Jintao, Amy Chua and the temptation of the East
译者吉布
u Jintao, Amy Chua and the temptation of the East
In his great small book of the early 20th century, The Temptation of the West, Andre Malraux proposed that the question of the century would be: How will the Chinese adapt to individualism? The question we might ask today as President Hu Jintao visits the United States is, how will the West adapt to the rise of China? So far, I am afraid, not very well. Western people are dreaming now of tigers and dragons. Bad dreams.
Possibly only few can make the journey across the Pacific. Kelsey Grammer’s Frasier, uncomfortable in Seattle with the Hindu waitress at the coffee shop, may long for the Irish charm and camaraderie of the “Cheers” bar in Boston. But those who will be successful in this American journey will travel the path west with him because America’s future faces across the Pacific.
The dragon has landed in D.C., and the tiger at Yale. Amy Chua’s “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” has brought widespread reaction this past week. Writer Ayelet Waldman and her daughters have spent time “raging against the essay and crafting compelling and bombastic rebuttals.” New York Times columnist David Brooks called her “a wimp.”
Chua’s essay is an entertainment. In writing how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids, she says her two daughters were never allowed to: attend a sleepover, have a playmate, be in a school play, complain about not being in a school play, watch TV or play computer games, choose their own extracurricular activities, get any grade less than an A, not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama, play any instrument other than the piano or violin, not play the piano or violin.
But her essay comes with a warning. As President Hu visits Washington today, 90 girls in just one high school in Tennessee are pregnant or have just had a baby. Nurseries are a common feature today in high schools throughout the South. So ends the American century.
Hopefully Chua’s clever children will join the committed Yale alumni who work diligently in Teach for Kentucky at least for a time, because something needs to be done, and what we have done to date hasn’t worked.
Possibly because, as Chua writes in The Wall Street Journal, “Western parents try to respect their children’s individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they’re capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.”
Visit Mr. Quigley’s website at http://quigleyblog.blogspot.com.
I am Chinese, and I was raised in the so-called “Chinese” way. I grew up envying the friendship between Western mothers and daughters, and I vowed not to parent like my mother.
As a parent, I have discovered it is neither the Western way, nor the Chinese way. There is no one way to be a parent.
I learned from books, and from my daughter by listening to her, watching her, knowing her.
Why does it have to be a choice between the East and the West? I tried to forge the middle ground, and time will tell if I succeeded.
In the meantime, I am quite happy with the results. Near-perfect SAT scores, and offers of admissions to Harvard, Yale and Princeton. You bet I am proud, but what really matters to me is that she grew up to be warm and kind, with an easygoing, unassuming demeanor.
I did not push. I encouraged. And I loved unconditionally .
BY good chinese mother on 01/18/2011 at 10:21They plan to use their wealth and live in perpetual protection as elites in Asia, much like the Kim family of North Korea.
That is the future they planned, that they executed through corrupt trade deals to pile up their profits as they bled dry the USA and its people.
Their future is in Asia. The future they have made for America is only one of destruction.BY They Cursed America on 01/18/2011 at 10:25
I am a 12 year old Chinese girl in North Carolina. I believe that Amy Chua’s child care technique is wrong. Sure, her kids will grow up to suceed, but will they have the creativity to be the best? Will they be the ones thinking of the great ideas? Chua has crushed the creativity in her children. She is stereotyping not only westerners but the people of her own culture as well. Every child is different, but I don’t think any kid likes being controlled like that. I know I wouldn’t. I’m sure that she does this out of love, but doesn’t love mean that you want to make your loved ones happy? Here’s some advice to parents: Love your kids and let their creativity grow. Not everybody has the same gifts, and every child is different. Love, discipline, and have fun! The results will be wonderful.
BY 12 year old on 01/18/2011 at 16:5420世纪初,有一本伟大的小册子,书名是《西方的诱惑》,作者安德烈 马尔罗在书中提出了世纪性问题:“中国人如何适应个人主义?”今天,当胡锦涛开始访美时,我们可能会问,“西方如何适应崛起的中国?”我担心,迄今为止,西方适应得并不太好。西方人梦到了龙腾虎跃。不吉利的梦。
可能极少有人能跨越太平洋。在系列剧《欢乐一家亲》中,凯尔塞 格拉玛扮演的弗雷泽,在西雅图的咖啡店里跟印度侍女在一起而感到不自在,他可能会向往爱尔兰的妩媚,以及波士顿“知己吧”里的弟兄情谊。但那些成功进行这一美国式行程的人会跟他一起往西行进,因为美国的未来面对跨越太平洋的彼岸。
龙和虎已分别在华盛顿和耶鲁降落。面对中国虎妈蔡爱眉的那本《虎妈的战歌》,在过去一周里,反响是铺天盖地。作家埃莱特 瓦尔特曼和她的几个女儿发动了对蔡的持续的口诛笔伐。《纽约时报》专栏作家大卫 布鲁克斯称蔡是个没能耐的小人。
蔡的小书是娱乐性的。书中写了中国的父母是如何培养印版式的成功儿童的。她告诉我们,她的两个女儿从来不许:在同学家过夜,有玩伴,参加学校演出,抱怨不能参加学校演出,看电视或玩电脑游戏,自己选择课外活动,不能有低于A的成绩,每门课不得第一名(除了体育和戏剧),玩任何乐器(除了钢琴和小提琴),不弹钢琴和小提琴。
但蔡的小书伴随警告一起到来。当胡锦涛主席在华盛顿访问时,在田纳西州的一所中学里,有90名女孩怀孕,或者生了小孩。在整个南方,中学里有托儿所是普遍现象。美国人的世纪将这样结束。
所幸蔡的聪明的孩子将跟负责的耶鲁校友一起参加肯塔基州优秀中学教师计划,在那里努力工作至少一段时间。我们需要做点事。而且迄今所做的并未奏效。
也许原因是,如同蔡在《华尔街日报》上撰文指出的,“西方父母尊重孩子个性,鼓励孩子尽情发挥,支持孩子的选择,为他们提供积极的支撑和理想环境。与此形成对照的是,中国人相信保护自己孩子最好的方法是努力让孩子为将来做好准备,让他们知道自己能干什么,使他们拥有各种机能,良好的工作习惯和内心的自信,这些是别人永远拿不走的。
我是中国人。我是按所谓中国方式培养出来的。我在嫉妒中长大,我嫉妒西方母亲跟女儿间的亲密友情。我发誓不像我母亲那样为人父母。
做父母,我发现既不能像西方的,也不能是中国的,单一模式不行。
我从书中学习,也从我女儿身上学习,通过倾听,观察,了解。为什么必须在东西方之间选择?我努力开拓中间的,时间会证明我是否正确。
我对结果感到满意。接近完美的SAT成绩,哈佛,耶鲁和普林斯顿的录取通知。你一定会说我骄傲,但对我来说,真正重要的是,我的孩子长大了,有一颗热情善良的心,为人随和,不装模作样。
我并不施加压力,我是通过激励,无条件的爱。
我住在北卡罗来纳州,我是个12岁的中国女孩。我认为蔡的育儿经是错误的。当然她的孩子长大会成功。但他们会有创造力吗?会有伟大的思想吗?蔡已经扼杀了孩子们的创造力。小孩子个个都不同。但我相信所有的孩子都不希望被这样管得牢牢的,我就不愿意。我相信她是出于爱,但爱难道不是让你所爱的人快乐?