The Most Interesting Ten Types of People in China

The following post is making the rounds of Chinese cyberspace. Translated by Yuanxi Huang:

The Most Interesting Ten Types of People in China

1. The most anxious Chinese is the wife of a corrupt government official. She dare not overspend, for she’s afraid to show her wealth. She’s anxious that superiors, especially those from Discipline Inspection Bureau and Procuratorate, might come talk to her husband. If her husband doesn’t return home for several days, she goes crazy. Her dream is to go somewhere unknown with all the money, and start everything from scratch.

2. The most stupid Chinese is the soccer fan. Chinese soccer fans are so stupid that if you sympathize with them, you turn into a fool too. They’ve spent their money, cried their tears and wasted their time. But the Chinese soccer team still has made zero progress over the past 20 years.

3. The richest Chinese are children. It’s hard to believe that children are the wealthiest in China. From the perspective of their parents, easily spending ten RMB is like a crime. But if you put ten RMB before a child, he would dismiss it.

4. The most disappointed Chinese is the writer. Twenty years ago, it would be an honor and of special significance to wear the hat of a writer. He could become rich and famous. But now he who dares to claim to be a writer needs some guts. A writer now is simply someone who makes a living by selling stories.

5. The Chinese who live the easiest life are the mentally retarded. Now life is easy only to those who are mentally handicapped. They have few life goals, and even less aspiration. Life is happy for them if they can fill their stomach, and have enough clothes to escape cold.

6. The most boring Chinese are entertainment reporters. The print press used to be under very strict control, which allowed little leeway for individual creativity. But the reform of the Chinese print media started from the entertainment section, which brought boring entertainment reporters. Some say entertainment reporters are like chefs who cater to people’s stomachs. They cook whatever you want to read.

7. The most proud Chinese are the wealthy. They never worry about money or women, or social status. No matter whether their past was clean or not, there’s no doubt of the wealthy’s pride today. Now what the wealthy fear the most is a sudden change, like any abrupt regulation demanding they hand over their assets, or go bankrupt for soliciting prostitutes. This is fatal for the rich.

8. The saddest Chinese are women who are over 30 yet still single. Now they not only face the annoyance of marriage, but also the crisis of survival, as younger girls have already started to compete with them. It’s not easy for women to admit the reality that they’re already old, and they only do so with difficulty and pain.

9. The most pathetic Chinese are farmers. In fact the IQ of rural farmers is no lower than urban citizens. Their shrewdness is definitely worthy of respect. Yet they can only struggle for a position of an annual income of over 100 RMB—the village head. Chinese farmers are born with a special identity. To get rid of this identity, they have to pay the price for their whole lives.

10. The most unfortunate Chinese are stock investors. An economist said, “the Chinese stock market is a gold mine for institutional investors, and a cemetery for retail investors.” It sounds extreme, but China’s stock market does look like a gambling house. A group of poor are playing with a few rich, it’s easy to guess who will win and who will not.