The Most Interesting Ten Types of People in China

The following post is making the rounds of Chinese cyberspace. Translated by Yuanxi Huang:

The Most Interesting Ten Types of People in China

1. The most anxious Chinese is the wife of a corrupt government official. She dare not overspend, for she’s afraid to show her wealth. She’s anxious that superiors, especially those from Discipline Inspection Bureau and Procuratorate, might come talk to her husband. If her husband doesn’t return home for several days, she goes crazy. Her dream is to go somewhere unknown with all the money, and start everything from scratch.
最苦恼的中国人是贪官太太:她不敢大把花钱,怕露富;怕领导找老公谈话,特别是纪检、检察院的人;如果老公有几天突然不回家,她就会发疯。她的梦想是,带着钱去一个谁也不知道的地方,一切从零开始。

2. The most stupid Chinese is the soccer fan. Chinese soccer fans are so stupid that if you sympathize with them, you turn into a fool too. They’ve spent their money, cried their tears and wasted their time. But the Chinese soccer team still has made zero progress over the past 20 years.
最傻冒的中国人是球迷:中国的球迷傻得让你觉得再可怜他们,自己也会变成一个傻子。钱也出了,泪也流了,时间也花了,二十多年来,中国足球却一点进步也没有。

3. The richest Chinese are children. It’s hard to believe that children are the wealthiest in China. From the perspective of their parents, easily spending ten RMB is like a crime. But if you put ten RMB before a child, he would dismiss it.
最有钱的中国人是孩子:说起来没人相信,中国人中最有钱的是孩子。在他们父辈眼里,轻易地花掉十块钱就有犯罪的感觉。可如果把一张十元大票放在一个孩子面前,他的眼神是不屑一顾。

4. The most disappointed Chinese is the writer. Twenty years ago, it would be an honor and of special significance to wear the hat of a writer. He could become rich and famous. But now he who dares to claim to be a writer needs some guts. A writer now is simply someone who makes a living by selling stories.
最失落的中国人是作家:二十年前,如果有幸戴上一顶作家的帽子,就有着特别的意义,他可以名利兼收。但现在谁要是还敢说自己是个作家,就要有点勇气。现在的作家等同于作者或者“写手“,卖文为生。

5. The Chinese who live the easiest life are the mentally retarded. Now life is easy only to those who are mentally handicapped. They have few life goals, and even less aspiration. Life is happy for them if they can fill their stomach, and have enough clothes to escape cold.
最轻松的中国人是弱智者:现在只有弱智者,生活才是真正轻松的。他们的人生目标很小,他们的欲望就更小,只要食能果腹,衣能避寒,生活就美满了。

6. The most boring Chinese are entertainment reporters. The print press used to be under very strict control, which allowed little leeway for individual creativity. But the reform of the Chinese print media started from the entertainment section, which brought boring entertainment reporters. Some say entertainment reporters are like chefs who cater to people’s stomachs. They cook whatever you want to read.
最无聊的中国人是娱记:以前报纸管得死,个人发挥的地方不多,但是报刊的变革,却是从娱乐版面开始的,并且培养了无聊的娱乐记者。有人称娱记是满足市民口味的厨师,你想看什么,他就为你做什么。

7. The most proud Chinese are the wealthy. They never worry about money or women, or social status. No matter whether their past was clean or not, there’s no doubt of the wealthy’s pride today. Now what the wealthy fear the most is a sudden change, like any abrupt regulation demanding they hand over their assets, or go bankrupt for soliciting prostitutes. This is fatal for the rich.
最得意的中国人是大款:不愁金钱,不愁女人,不愁社会地位。无论大款的过去是不是脏,今天的得意是肯定无疑的。现在大款们最怕的是莫名的变革,比如突然规定把财产交出来,或叫个“小姐“就罚个倾家荡产等,这对大款来说是要命的。

8. The saddest Chinese are women who are over 30 yet still single. Now they not only face the annoyance of marriage, but also the crisis of survival, as younger girls have already started to compete with them. It’s not easy for women to admit the reality that they’re already old, and they only do so with difficulty and pain.
最伤感的中国人是三十岁还未嫁的女人:现在不仅面临婚姻苦恼,还面临着生存危机,因为比她们年轻的女孩已经开始抢她们的饭碗了。女人不容易接受已经老了的事实,或很难也很痛苦地去接受这个事实。

9. The most pathetic Chinese are farmers. In fact the IQ of rural farmers is no lower than urban citizens. Their shrewdness is definitely worthy of respect. Yet they can only struggle for a position of an annual income of over 100 RMB—the village head. Chinese farmers are born with a special identity. To get rid of this identity, they have to pay the price for their whole lives.
最可怜的中国人是农民:其实山村乡民的智商并不比城里人低,其精明程度绝对让人佩服。可他们却只能为一个年薪?只有一百多元的村长的职位而争斗。中国的农民一生下来就有了一种特殊的身份,为了抛弃这个身份,他们甚至要花去一生的精力。

10. The most unfortunate Chinese are stock investors. An economist said, “the Chinese stock market is a gold mine for institutional investors, and a cemetery for retail investors.” It sounds extreme, but China’s stock market does look like a gambling house. A group of poor are playing with a few rich, it’s easy to guess who will win and who will not.
最倒霉的中国人是股民:一位经济学家这样说,中国的股市是大户的金矿,散户的坟场。话虽偏激,但中国的股市却有一种赌场的味道,一群穷人和几个富人去赌,谁输谁赢当然是不用细想了。