Chinese Fortune Teller: Will & Kate To Split

CNN interviews fortune teller Chen Shuaifou about the long-term prospects of Britain’s impending royal marriage. Sadly, he reports, the marriage will not outlast the winter of 2015, though heartbreak and scandal may be averted by judicious deployment of horse-related artwork.

Also interviewed is a producer of replica royal engagement rings, whose improved design aims for superior durability. The band on the original is “too thin,” he says. “I think mine is better.”

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