SneezeBloid, the “tabloid” collection of Weibo posts and news headlines from SneezeNet, gathered stories of students and parents driven to madness by the gaokao, China’s university entrance examination:

lebronlisong: This happened in Xiaoyi City, Lüliang, Shanxi Province. Before noon, in front the gates of the Xiaoyi No. 5 High School, someone heard he didn’t do well on the gaokao. He took a knife and stabbed himself once, piercing his heart, and said goodbye to his 20 years of life.

嵩Lee–勒布朗–Heats:发生在山西省吕梁孝义市。上午，在孝义五中学校门前，听说是好像没考好，用刀子捅了一刀，捅到心脏那了,再见了自己的二十年啊

Student Two Minutes Late to Exam, Mother Begs on Knees: At Shanghai’s East China Model High School testing center, a student arrived two minutes late because his bicycle broke. He was not allowed in to take the gaokao. His mother begged on her knees, while the student threw a tantrum out of desperation. In the end, he could not take the test. The Shanghai Educational Testing Facility said the testing center acted on strict accordance with the rules.

【母亲下跪为迟到2分钟考生求情】今日下午，在上海华东模范中学考点外，一名考生因为自行车坏了，比准考证上规定2点45分迟到2分钟，不能进入考场。考生母 亲又是求情又是下跪，考生情急下还做出过激行为，最终考生未能参加考试。上海教育考试院事后称此举是严格按规定执行。（s）http://t.cn/zOFFwyB

Sink-Zhang: Seeing this story about the student who arrived late to the gaokao and whose mother begged on her knees, I want tell my own story. When my son took the SAT in the U.S., he got the time wrong (he’s always like this–he takes after me) and arrived half an hour late to the exam. He was worried sick. The teacher had him sit in a room by himself to take the test. He didn’t get a break like the other test-takers. He just finished in one stretch and totally exhausted himself. When he told me about this later, I felt there was no cure for this disease…

@醒客-张：看到有高考生迟到，母亲下跪，想说个事实。儿子在美国考SAT时，记错时间（他总是这样，特像我）迟到了半小时，急死他了。老师让他单独在一间教室里考的，中间别人都有休息他没休，一气考下来累坏了。后来他和我们谈起这事，觉得自己这个毛病改不了……

ZhaoXiaobo: I saw in the news that the parents in one town poisoned the frogs in the local pond so that their croaking wouldn’t distract their children during the gaokao. There were even parents who wouldn’t let the neighbors flush their toilets at night in order to maintain quiet. I can understand wanting test-takers to be well-rested, but what’s the point of raising “college students” with such disregard for life and harsh demands on neighbors?

赵小波:媒体报道，有小区家长为不让蛙鸣声打扰学生高考，毒死池塘中的青蛙。甚至还有家长因为保持安静，不让邻居晚上冲马桶。让考生好好休息应对考试，心情可以理解，但对生命和环境如此残忍，对邻居苛刻要求，这种背景成长起来的“大学生”，对社会何益？

DongniDongliangVVV: A group of parents took it upon themselves to block the slow lane entrance to No. 9 High School [in Jinan, the capital of Shandong]. People blocked people and cars blocked cars. Some cyclists were forcibly pulled aside by the parents, nearly falling over and boiling with rage. The parents’ reason for this? Their children were taking the English listening section of the gaokao and were worried about noise. A woman who was pulled over threw a curse as she scrambled to her feet: “Who hasn’t f*cking taken the gaokao? Haven’t you gone too far? This is really scary…” She bought an ice cream and slinked off.

东尼东亮VVV ：一群家长自发封死九中门口慢车道，见人拦人见车挡车，几个骑自行车的人被家长们强行拉下，几乎跌倒，怒不可遏，家长的理由，孩子高考英语听力，怕有噪 音，一名被扯倒在地的女性边爬起来边愤怒的抛下一句话~谁她妈没参加过高考？至于吗？我觉得这里可怕极了…买了一个雪糕默默离开了

WangYajunBeijing: Today (the 8th) a student committed suicide because he “didn’t do well on the gaokao.” And because her child arrived two minutes late to the test, a mother kneeled in front of the doors. While I respect these people and pity them, what can we say about this society? The gaokao is a narrow bridge we all fight to cross. But what happens when you’ve crossed this “bridge”? At the other end is nothing but a soap bubble, a bubble of hope glittering in the sun!

王亚军北京：今天(8日)一个考生只因为”没考好”自杀了.一个因为迟到2分钟,母亲给看大门儿的下跪,缅怀惋惜的同时,我们还能对这个社会说什么?高考,万人争过独木桥.其实过了”桥”又如何?桥的那一头儿,只是一个肥皂泡,阳光下五彩斑斓的泡影而已!

MistyRiver: While taking her daughter to the gaokao in Changsha, a car hit a woman and sent her flying more than ten meters. She landed in a pool of blood. The traffic police and passersby consoled the girl and convinced her to take the exam. Eyes filled with tears, she walked into the testing center… This isn’t the gaokao, it’s a dead end for love and goodness. The gaokao is solely for one’s own success, for improving one’s lot in life. But why has the gaokao superseded everything else in life? It is simply because without the gaokao, there is no other road we can travel.

雾满拦江：长沙，一位母亲送女儿高考。被一辆轿车将母亲撞飞十多米，倒在血泊中。在交警路人安慰劝说下，女孩含泪走进考场，继续考试…………这已经不是高 考了，这是断人亲情，绝人善念的末路。高考只是为了成就自我，改善生命的过程。可为什么高考取代了人生的全部？只是因为，除高考之外我们无路可走。

Global Times: Gaokao Shows Complexity of Nation: You can’t simply say the gaokao is good or bad. It seems we’ve selected the least bad from among every manner of corrupt option. The gaokao is most rigorous in fairness, yet it is a super-social system that has had elements of unfairness from its very inception. It embodies both the yearning of the Chinese people for fairness and the impossibility of total fairness at our current stage.

【环球时报：高考表现了整个国家的复杂性】你无法简单说高考到底好还是不好，我们似乎是在各种弊端之间选了一个相对最不坏的。高考是对公平原则执行最严格，但 也是从最初设计就含有不公平因素的超级社会系统。它包含了中国人对公平的向往，和对在现阶段无法完全实现公平的无奈。

sinchaos: After the test, one corner of one high school
sinchaos ：高考过后，一中一角

More wild gaokao tales from CDT English and ChinaSmack.