The following BBS post makes fun of what school teachers say about the Internet. From juetuzhi.cn, translated by CDT:
Politics teacher: It objectively reflects the Chinese people’s improved standards of living.
Chinese teacher: Mao’s (literally meaning cat, a homonym of modem) real name is modulator-demodulator. It is an indispensable hardware for web surfing.
History teacher: The Web was formally named in 1990, but the idea of the Internet dates back to 1945.
English teacher: WWW is short for World Wide Web. Its Chinese name is Quanqiu Xinxi Wang (global information net).
Biology teacher: It will affect the metabolism of the human body to sit in front of the computer screen to surf the web for a long time.
Math teacher: How long does it take for Xiaoming to download a 1,000-kilobyte file at an average speed of 5 kilobytes per second?
Chemistry teacher: The speed of the Internet connection is like that of a magnesium ribbon’s reaction with water. It is awfully slow!
Music teacher: Remember to delete the MP3 files downloaded from the Internet within 24 hours.
Painting teacher: The web address for France’s Musée du Louvre is Paris. Check it out when you have time.
Sports teacher: I heard there’s a pair of sneakers with springs being displayed on Nike’s website. I am wondering if I can buy them online.
Headmaster: Last night, some student spread rumors in my name in a certain Internet chatroom, saying that the school would have a day off tomorrow. Who on earth was that? Turn yourself in!