Over the past two months, as the the 17th Party Congress approaches, media and Internet censorship has escalated to an extraordinary degree. While the Party’s newspaper editors are practically frozen, making politically colored jokes is one form of comic relief for many bloggers. Here is an example: At the celebration of the 10th anniversary of Hong Kong’s return to China, President Hu Jintao shook hands onstage with many of the performers. On video, Hu shook hands with pop star Andy Lau for a particularly long time; some netizens counted as long as nine seconds. What did these two talk about during such a long handshake? Many bloggers started a game of guessing their exchange. Here are some versions, which probably even make the cyberpolice laugh out loud.
Hu: I know you. (Lau cries)
Hu continues: Isn’t your name Jacky Cheung (another Hong Kong star) (Lau cries again.)
Lau – shaking Hu’s hand hard: Thank you Chairman Jiang. (Hu cries.)
********
Hu: How do you do, Andy.
Lau: How do you do, Chairman Hu.
Hu: You will be named the Chief Executive of Hong Kong next time.
Lau: Thank you Chairman!
Hu: What’s your full name?
Lau: @#¥%¥*&
******
Hu: You are very popular. You have many fans on the mainland.
Lau: You are too generous. I am YOUR fan.
Hu: Aren’t my fans in Hong Kong are all here tonight?
Lau: @#¥%¥*&
*******
Hu: Are you a Party member?
Lau: No.
Hu: Don’t you want to be one?
Lau: …… I do…… maybe.
Hu: Stars are not allowed to be in the Party.
Lau: @#¥%¥*&
******
Hu: Have you heard of “Eight Honors and Eight Disgraces”?
Lau: Yes, I have studied it.
Hu: Young people should strive for progress.
Lau: I will remember the Chairman’s teaching.
Hu: Next time put “Eight honors and Eight disgraces” into your new song.
Lau: @#¥%¥*&
******
Hu: Do you have a driver’s license?
Lau: Yes.
Hu: Have your bought Compulsory Motor Vehicle Accident Insurance?
Lau: Hong Kong does not have that.
Hu: It will. Soon.
Lau: @#¥%¥*&
******
Hu: I like your movies.
Lau: Which one does Chairman like the best?
Hu: Spiderman.
Lau: @#¥%¥*&
******
Hu: You handled Yang Lijuan’s affair beautifully.
Lau: Thank you very much for Chairman’s concern.
Hu: Congratulations to you two.
Lau: For what?
Hu: My staff told me that you two are now married.
Lau: @#¥%¥*&
*******
Hu: Let it go.
Lau: ……
Hu: Just let it go.
Lau: ……
Hu: Please let my hand go.
Lau: ……
Hu: @#¥%¥*&
******
The game went on and the versions only multiplied. Andy Lau later was asked on TV about what was actually said during the handshake. Here is Andy Lau’s own version:
Hu: I am very glad to hear your singing tonight. Your song The Chinese was sung so powerfully.
Lau: Thank you Mr. Chairman.
Hu: You should keep this spirit. Sing this song more often for our country.
Lau: Yes. I will definitely do that when I have the opportunity.
Hu: ……
Lau: Thank you very much. Thank you very much.

　　
