Catchphrase of the Week: No Fucking Use

The  comes from the Grass-Mud Horse Lexicon, a glossary of terms created by Chinese netizens or encountered in online political discussions. These are the words of China’s online “resistance discourse,” used to mock and subvert the official language around censorship and political correctness.

rán bìng luǎn 然并卵

"But that's actually no fucking use." (Source: baozouribao.com)

“But that’s actually no fucking use.” (Source: baozouribao.com)

Short for “but that’s actually no fucking use” (rán’ér bìng méiyǒu shénme luǎnyòng 然而并没有什么卵用); conveys something’s uselessness or a situation’s hopelessness. Catchphrase from the comedy show Baozou Big News (Bàozǒu Dà Shìjiàn 暴走大事件).

“Can’t do shit” was popularized in the summer of 2015 on the sketch comedy show Baozou Big News. In a mock interview, the character Zhang Quandan (张全蛋), a quality inspector at Foxconn, talks about the many functions of the cell phones being manufactured:

It has so, so many functions
Like it can remotely control your home’s air conditioning
And also it can help you get on your neighbor’s wifi
And then remotely control your neighbor’s air conditioning
And also it can help you hack into your local server
And remotely control the air conditioning on an entire block
But that’s actually no fucking use

它的功能非常非常的many
比如它能遥控你家的空调啊
再比如它能帮你连上隔壁的wifi
然后遥控隔壁家的空调啊
再比如它能帮你hacker到小区的服务器里
并且遥控一整条街的空调
然而并没有什么卵用 [Chinese]

“No fucking use” caught on as a way to express exasperation. While the saying has no political connotation per se, commentators have made good use of it, as did in his reflection on the $31 million wedding of mainland actor Huang Xiaoming and Hong Kong model Angelababy (Angela Yeung):

Even if Huang Xiaoming and Angelababy’s extravagant wedding becomes a target, it’s no fucking use for the powerful clique’s concerted effort at winning the ideological battle.

尽管黄晓明和AB的盛大婚礼不幸成为了新的标靶,但对于权力集团试图赢得新意识形态争夺的伟大努力来说,然并卵。[Chinese]

Can’t get enough of subversive Chinese netspeak? Check out “Decoding the Chinese Internet: A Glossary of Political Slang,” an ebook with dozens of new terms and classic catchphrases, presented in a new, image-rich format. Available for pay-what-you-want (including nothing). All proceeds support CDT.