Music Video: “My Brother’s at the Bare Bottom” (我哥在光腚)

The Orwellian control efforts of Chinese Internet censors have not only generated an attention-getting pushback from Google, but on the heavily policed Chinese Internet, there are plenty of signs for resistance as well. The following music video parody shows that coded resistance from Chinese netizens is alive and well. In this bitter winter of the Chinese Internet, even the most self-censored Chinese search engine Baidu still can find over 29,000 copies of this song, including on one of the nation’s largest news and game portals, Netease. If you search the title of the song on Google? Over 830,000 webpages show up. (Lyrics translated by CDT’s E. Shih.)

Sung to the tune of “Happy for No Reason” by the Flowers Band. Lyrics and production by netizen Tutuwan.

“My brother’s at the Bare Bottom[1], no exaggeration:
He’s so equipped he’ll snap the whip,
River crab“[2] you eighteen generations.

You there, you sunless shut-in, still no change of heart?
Or are you all just naturally
Dumb right from the very start?

When the Bare Bottom roars, websites crumble and fall.
You better get all ready
To be on a memorial wall.

Blacken your heart for piracy, because nothing is free
You want to download? Down your sister
If it fails, you just didn’t get lucky.

Green Dam Lady, oh so pretty,
No regrets if you use it—trust me!

New computers need the fixings this time,
If they don’t have them that’s a crime.

Ghosts and demons fill the skies,
They’ve seen so much they’re desensitized.
Dreaming of porn actresses, making eyes,
And when they really see ‘em they act surprised.

My brother’s at the Bare Bottom, they’re the boss of the boss,
Managing urban management,
They’ll “river crab” you ‘til your teary face is lost.

My brother’s at the Bare Bottom, he’ll fine you nice and sound
If he doesn’t like your face; next you meet,
It’s three thousand this time round.

My brother’s at the Bare Bottom, he’s got the happy thrills,
He’s got the girls and lives every day
Like Bacchus in the hills.

My brother’s at the Bare Bottom, make sure to grease his wheels,
Watch out if you don’t—it won’t end well,
You’ll eat tragedy with your meals.

The Bare Bottom’s nothing scary,
Don’t speak ill of it, so wary.
All it does is put you on the black list,
Stuff it some cash and it’s at your behest.
Give it some gold nuggets, and of course,
Don’t forget the grass mud horse.[3]

Who still drives a Santana car,
Race it up to 70 yards per hour.

My brother’s under pressure, he’s yelled at every day.
If he slip up in the day,
He’ll be on the run by night, anyway.
The cases so complex they’ll make you holla,
Types of posted vids make you cry momma.
That chick is fake from head to toe,
Her doggie eye’ll be blind next thing you know.

My brother’s at the Bare Bottom, they’re the boss of the boss,
Managing urban management,
They’ll “river crab” you ‘til your teary face is lost.

My brother’s at the Bare Bottom, he’ll fine you nice and sound
If he doesn’t like your face; next you meet,
It’s three thousand this time round.

My brother’s at the Bare Bottom, he’s got the happy thrills,
He’s got the girls and lives every day
Like Bacchus in the hills.

My brother’s at the Bare Bottom, make sure to grease his wheels,
Watch out if you don’t—it won’t end well,
You’ll eat tragedy with your meals.

[1] The Chinese abbreviation for the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television (Guangdian) is a homonym for “bare bottom,” (Guangding) which has become a slang nickname for the organization.
[2] “River crab” is a homonym for “harmonize” and is used as a euphemism for censorship by Chinese netizens.
[3] “Grass mud horse” is a homonym for “f**k your mother” and has become a symbol of online resistance to censorship.

提示,请用花儿乐队歌曲《穷开心》旋律套用歌词演唱。词、制作:网民“茶茶丸”。

“我哥在光腚*,不说有多厉害,河蟹*你祖宗十八代啊;你这些死宅*,还不知道悔改,难道你们都是天然呆。我们光腚一发威,各种网站都报废。你们也做好准备,进入英雄纪念碑。治盗版心要黑,资源全部都收费。你想下载下你妹,没有下完就算你倒霉。绿霸娘最美,用了保证不后悔。新装电脑必需配,谁不配就是犯罪。这鬼畜满天飞,到处都是重口味。整天都想看软妹*,看了又表示很雷*。

我哥在光腚,城管*中的城管,河蟹得你泪流满面哪;我哥在光腚,看不惯就罚款,下次看到再罚个三千哪;我哥在光腚,有妹子有快感,每天快活似神仙哪;我哥在光腚,不塞钱就危险,天天都让你悲剧不断。

其实光腚不可怕,你们不要老黑他。也就搞搞大封杀,塞了钱它就听话。再给袋金坷垃,送你一只草泥马。谁还开那桑塔纳,直接飙他个七十码*。我哥压力大,整天都要被人骂。这个白天一手滑,晚上就要被追杀。审核对象太杂,视频类叫你喊妈。这妹子长得太假,稍不注意狗眼瞎。”

Also from the same author: “Green Dam Green Dam: ‘River Crab’ Your Whole Family”