Update: New comment by sam025 added at the bottom.
Irony is lost on Global Times Chief Editor Hu Xijin, who half-enjoyed Han Han’s June 20 essay on his philosophy of life. According to Hu, Han Han’s heart’s in the right place, but he needs to get mind out of the gutter:
HuXijin: Han Han’s extraordinary writing ability shines through in his latest long-form weibo. I just wish he would use his talent in a constructive way for society instead of merely teaching his myriad Chinese fans how to “fuck,” no matter what it is they are “fucking.” This is his responsibility. It’s fine for public figures to have a slovenly appearance, but they cannot “Brother Sharp” ethics to the masses. You can tell Han Han’s personal morals are alright.
胡 锡进：读了韩寒的最新长微博，文中确实透出鬼斧神工般的文字天才。只是希望他将这份才气用来促进社会的建设性，而不是教中国最大的粉丝团如何“操”，无论 “操”的是什么。他确实有这个责任。公众人物可以穿着不修边幅，但不可向大众示范如何装道德“犀利哥”。看得出韩寒是私德不错的人。
As usual, netizens were eager to throw more salty language Hu’s way. A selection of those wry, incisive comments follows. Read more in from CDT Chinese.
TangFlower_fh7: You discredit him, compliment him, push him, pull him… You really know your kungfu.
tang花_fh7：又损又夸又推又拉，功夫深
xd_jackfeng: He’s talking about “fucking” self-righteous people. There’s no chance Chief Editor Hu is one of those people, right?
xd_jackfeng：他操的是那些道貌岸然的人，胡主编不会是这种人吧？？？
Avatar1981: You have no right to criticize Han Han, you self-righteous bum!
阿凡达1981：你还没资格评论韩寒，道貌岸然的家伙！！！！！！！！
ami2020: Isn’t Editor Hu always teaching us how to be good slaves? It’s a shame most people don’t appreciate his efforts.
ami2020：胡编不也天天教导大家如何做奴才吗?可惜大多数人不领情
HappyLaWeibo: Who says criticism isn’t constructive?
开心的啦微博：誰說批評就不是建設性了
massfin: Thanks for the recommendation. It was as good as advertised. Too bad for Han Han, if he drew himself into the system and started using his talent to kiss the Party’s ass, how harmonious would that be?
massfin：谢谢推荐。去看了，写的情之所至不错。可惜韩寒这材料，要是收编进我们组织，专门给党妈舔菊，那得是多和谐的局面啊
ZhaoXiangruiToothPull: I’m afraid Chief Editor Hu misunderstands. Han Han and his followers “fuck” those who are self-righteous hypocrites like Hu.
趙翔叡拉牙彷徨：胡主编恐怕是会错了意，韩寒及他的一班支持者，操的是胡主编这样道貌岸然的伪君子。
ddd88mm2011: Hong Kong’s Apple Daily ran an editorial on June 21 titled “To be a Good Person You Can’t Be Too ‘CCTV,’ To Write Good Articles You Can’t Be Too ‘Global Times.’”
ddd88mm2011：香港《苹果日报》6月21日发表评论文章，称〝做人不能太 CCTV、作文不能太环球〞
6mian10zi: Look at how Chief Hu sits on his high horse. These government lifers have such a superiority complex!
六面十字：看得出胡总还是高高在上的淫 吃皇粮的优越感不是一般的少
FarmVisionaryWeiFeng: You can see the lousy state of Chief Hu’s social morals. He ignores the call of the masses for democracy, swimming against the current. He’s such a Fifty Center.
农业创想家伟峰：看得出，胡总是公德很差的人，因为无视民众对民主的呼唤，逆流而上。贴脸做五毛。
ZhangFeiLovesLiuBei: The government already restricts how we have children. Now they’re going to restrict how we fuck?
张飞爱刘备：国家他妈的限制我们生孩子还想限制我们操吗？
Colorido: You and Fang Zhouzi are quite a match. You two would make a cute gay couple.
Colorido：你和方舟子很合适，你们可以搞基
DumbBirdYuanNian: Han Han is no match for the great, glorious and righteous Screwing People Post, Muddled Shit Times and CCAV. Oh, how noble you all are!
笨鸟元年：比不上《日人民报》 《坏球屎报》 《ccav》 整天伟光正。你们多高尚啊
GreatHuShi: On the one hand you raise the flag of democracy and on the other you oppose it. You even consider those who want to elect local representatives hostile forces. I’ve seen shamelessness, but never this brazen!
胡适的伟大：一边打着民主的旗号，一边反民主，连民众自愿参选个地方人大代表都当成敌对势力，真是见过无耻的，却没有见过这么无耻的！。
sam025: Han Han is fucking this lifeless Celestial Empire. He’s fucking this place that only cares about money and not whether people live or die. He’s fucking this inhumane place where a seven-month-old fetus can be murdered. He’s fucking this unjust place where laborers struggle to survive on scraps. He’s fucking this ridiculous place were the lowly rule and the good are screwed. He’s fucking this place where the government flogs its message of “serve the people” while it exploits and oppresses the people. Did you get all that?
sam025：他操的是天朝这死气沉沉的气息，操的是要钱而不顾他人死活的金钱至上主义，操的是国家可以随便残杀 7个月胎儿的反人类行为， 操的是底层劳动者拼死拼活却仅能糊口的收入分配公，操的是小人当道好人背时的可笑世道，操的是政府打着为人民服务的旗号而残忍剥削压迫人民的行为，这些，你都懂么？
Translation by Little Bluegill.
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